


Not Alone

by someofthissomeofthat11011



Series: 65 Story Challenge [16]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-22 12:23:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14308557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someofthissomeofthat11011/pseuds/someofthissomeofthat11011
Summary: Season 2 Episode 3. When Morgana is searching for Gaius and confides in Merlin, Merlin doesn't know what to say to her. But eventually the guilt is too much. Merlin throws caution to the wind and shows her he has magic. Merlin/ Morgana.





	1. Scared

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is kind of my challenge to myself. I'm writing one fanfiction for each episode of Merlin. Some are one-shots, some are longer stories. I ran out of ideas for fanfictions so this is how I'm dealing with that. If anyone has any prompts for me, feel free to leave it in a review and if I write it after I finish writing these 65 stories, I'll dedicate it to you… so, thanks. And I give you Season 2 Episode 3.

Season 2 Episode 3.

Story 16: Not Alone

Chapter 1: Scared

"I don't understand anything anymore. I need to know what's happening. Please," Morgana pleaded. Merlin's heart broke as he listened to her.

He knew exactly how she felt.

For years Merlin had felt like a monster because of his powers. He feared what they could do. He was taught to hide them, never to let anyone know. He didn't feel safe in his own skin. Ironically, it wasn't until he moved to Camelot that he realized that his powers could be a force for good. It was all thanks to Gaius.

But despite that, despite how much it hurt him to do so, he couldn't bring himself to tell her. "Gaius will be back soon. He'll be able to help you," Merlin told her.

"He won't. I don't want any more remedies. They won't do any good," Morgana said. Her voice was borderline hysterical as if she were on the brink of tears. "It's magic, Merlin."

Hearing her say it to him out loud was a surreal experience. He hadn't expected her to be so blunt about it. Merlin wasn't sure if it were brave or foolish that Morgana was so willing to admit that she had magical powers. "What?" Merlin asked shocked.

"I'm your friend, you know I wouldn't make this up," Morgana told him. Merlin felt a stab of guilt at her words. She was right. She was his friend, yet he still denied her help.

"Of course," Merlin agreed. His mind was swirling. He would be taking a huge risk if he told Morgana, yet she had done it first. She had put herself in a vulnerable position, had put her trust in him. Why couldn't he tell her? And why shouldn't he? He was the only one that could help her. Gaius certainly wasn't willing to. Didn't that make it his responsibility?

"Then you believe me? You think it's magic too. Please, Merlin, I just need to hear someone say it so I don't have to keep feeling like I'm imagining it," Morgana begged. Merlin stared at her. He knew the words to say, knew exactly how to say them, but he couldn't. He couldn't help her.

"I really wish there was something I could say," Merlin told her quietly. What he didn't tell her was that he knew what that something was. He knew exactly what to say to her, but there was something holding him back, something stopping him. Merlin knew once he told her there would be no going back. He would never be able to un-tell her. He had to be absolutely certain that this was what he wanted to do before he told her anything. He would rather take caution then do something he would regret. And if he came to regret this, it might be when he's tied to the pyre. That's really a fate he would prefer to avoid.

It's not that he didn't trust her, because he truly did. But that didn't mean he was ready for her to know.  
The look of betrayal that crossed Morgana's face hit him harder than anything had. She looked like he had just condemned her to a life of misery, and in a way, he had.

Morgana turned and walked out, closing the door behind her. Even though she was gone, Merlin could still see how much he had hurt her, he could still hear her angry, stomping footsteps as she stormed away. He groaned. This was a mess.

Merlin sat down at Gaius's workbench, staring at the grains in the wood as if they held the answer to his problems. Even when no solution presented itself, he still persisted in staring at the table.

When Gaius came back, Merlin moved to his bedroom. He didn't want to bother him and Gaius had made his opinion on the matter of Morgana's magic quite clear. Merlin lay down on his bed and tried to still his restlessness long enough to go asleep. After an hour or so of tossing and turning, he gave up. He let out a frustrated cry. Why couldn't he just turn his mind off?

He knew why. His guilt was preventing him from calming down. There would be no sleeping for him until he helped Morgana. If he couldn't tell her the truth, the least he could do was console her, do something to help her cheer up. He didn't need to tell her he had magic to admit that he believed she did.

Merlin made his way to Morgana's chambers. There were two guards stationed outside her door, but they were easily distracted. There would probably be hell to pay in the morning. Uther would have a fit once he found out they had heard a strange noise not far from Morgana's chambers. He already thought that someone was trying to kill his ward and this would do nothing to alleviate his suspicions. But it was worth it. Merlin slipped in her door, barely daring to breath.

He cautiously advanced and froze when he saw her. Her hair fanned out on the pillow in smooth, wavy lines. She looked too innocent, too perfect to be the same person that had been crying to him just two hours earlier. Yet he saw the proof in the redness that surrounded her eyes and in the slight frown to her mouth. Proof that even in sleep, someone can be sad and worried. Merlin watched as her eyelids fluttered, but she did not wake up. Nightmares, Merlin realized. She was having a nightmare.

Merlin whispered her name softly. She stirred slightly but did not wake. "Morgana," Merlin whispered slightly louder.

Morgana sat up straight in her bed, her eyes flashing gold. Merlin acted on instinct. "Gar-Dena gebad he organ," he muttered. It was strange, to see the water pitcher explode into pieces and not make a sound. Strange but relieving. The guards would have no reason to check on Morgana. "Morgana?" Merlin asked her concerned.

She was staring at the water pitcher as if it were going to attack her. "I don't know how that happened. It wasn't me," she said in a rush. "Ignore what I said before. I had a nightmare, I was just upset."

"I don't blame you for being upset," Merlin told her slowly. He took a step towards her bed, not wanting to frighten her. "I haven't said anything to anyone. And I wouldn't." Merlin hoped she would believe him. He would take her secret to the grave with him if he had to.

"I'm sorry," Morgana said. She wiped her eyes, relieving them of any stray tears. She looked slightly embarrassed to be seen in her current state. "It's usually Gwen that has to deal with me when I'm like this."

"I don't mind," Merlin told her. And he didn't. He knew if their situations were reversed she would do the same for him. "Maybe I could help." Merlin took a deep breath. He was going to tell her. He could feel it with certainty. It was time for her to know the truth.


	2. Magic

Season 2 Episode 3

Story 16: Not Alone

Chapter 2: Magic

Before Merlin could find the words to explain to her what he was, Morgana spoke.

"I doubt that," Morgana said skeptically. Merlin could understand her hesitance to believe him. Earlier that night he had told her that he didn't believe she had magic.

"You'd be surprised," Merlin said softly. He took a step towards where she was sitting on her bed. "I understand – I mean I realize–" Merlin cut himself off. He closed his eyes. He was tired of lying. If he withheld the truth for Morgana, he might send her to a place from which she would never return. Merlin tried to picture her, her features twisted with hatred and revenge. He tried to picture a Morgana that was seeking vengeance for all those who turned their backs on her when she needed them the most. He never wanted to see that happen. Merlin didn't know what would happen if he told her, but he knew for sure that if he concealed his powers from her, she would come to resent that. She would never have someone to help her understand her powers. She would lose the goodness that makes her Morgana. Merlin would rather die than see that happen. No matter how much danger it would put him in, and no matter the danger it put her in, she needed to know. "No. I understand exactly how frightening this is for you. Especially for you."

"How could you understand?" Morgana asked bitterly. "And what do you mean especially for me?"

"You're the king's ward. You know his hatred of magic better than anyone," Merlin explained.

There was a moment's silence as Morgana processed his words. She stood up out of her bed and looked at Merlin, a new found hope present in her face. "That's what you think has been happening to me? The dreams. The fire… The pitcher," Morgana said as she motioned to the recently shattered pitcher. "You think it was magic?"

Merlin nodded. "I know it was magic," he told her sincerely.

"But before… You said–" Morgana started to say. She wasn't looking at him as if she had blamed him for withholding the truth, more like she was trying to understand why he hadn't been honest with her.

"I know what I said," Merlin said, cutting her off. "I lied. I was scared to tell you the truth. I thought if you knew the truth that… I'm not sure." Merlin let out a frustrated groan. He was awful at explaining himself. "I didn't know what would happened and that frightened me."

"Why would you be scared?" Morgana asked skeptically. "You're not the one that has magic."

"I do though," Merlin whispered. "I do have magic." He knew that the moment was right. He would not lie to her anymore. He would let her see him for who he truly was.

Merlin felt as if every second that passed was an hour as Morgana considered him. When she finally broke the silence, Merlin was shocked by how angry she sounded. "Do not taunt me Merlin," Morgana warned. "Haven't I been through enough? I don't need you to poke fun at what I am."

Merlin studied Morgana for a moment. She was a stubborn person. If she believed he was making fun of her, no words would change her opinion of that. He didn't know how to convince her he was being serious. He could only think of one thing. He would have to show her. Merlin mentally prepared himself for this.

Merlin looked toward the fallen pitcher. He extended his hand and closed his eyes. He didn't want to see her reaction. He wanted to prolong that moment as long as possible. "Grith faestne mid thisse," he whispered. He didn't open his eyes. He knew what would be happening. The pitcher that Morgana had accidentally shattered with her magic would be fixing itself. He could hear the clink of the pieces as they flew back together and mended the pitcher. He waited. There truly was no going back from here. Morgana knew about his magic. He only hoped that this wouldn't come back to hurt him.

Merlin nearly stumbled backwards a step when something warm wrapped around him. He opened his eyes to see Morgana holding him as if her life depended on it. Her head was buried in his shoulder. Merlin stiffened, uncertain what to do. He wasn't sure why Morgana was crying right now. He hoped he hadn't done anything to upset her. Eventually he awkwardly patted her shoulder.

"Morgana?" He asked tentatively.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. When she picked her head up, there was a small smile across her face. "I'm just so happy. I'm not alone." Merlin let out a sigh of relief. She wasn't upset.

"No, you're not alone," Merlin agreed with a small smile. He gently kissed her forehead. It felt right for the moment.

Merlin held her for another moment. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I was scared," he whispered to her. With the darkness that surrounded them, it was easy for him to be honest with her.

Morgana pulled back. He could faintly make out her expression in the moonlight that cast shadows around her room. "Why would you be scared?" Morgana asked him. "You have nothing to fear. I would never say anything about your powers."

"That wasn't what scared me," Merlin whispered. "Morgana, we are friends. Knowing something like this, it isn't safe. I didn't want to risk hurting you or putting you in a position where you would have to lie for me. It wouldn't have been fair to you."

"I know you would never hurt me," Morgana told him. Her eyes caught Merlin's and he couldn't help but notice the sincerity in them. "And I hope you know that I will never betray you. Your secret… it's safe with me."

Merlin nodded, a small smile on his face. "I know," he told her.

Morgana yawned, reminding Merlin of the late time. "You should get to bed," Merlin told her gently.

"It would do no good. I'll just be awakened by another nightmare," Morgana said dejectedly.

Merlin looked at Morgana, trying to find the words to console her. His eyes landed on the silver pendant that always hung from her neck. Merlin knew it had been a gift from her father when she was younger. Morgana never took it off. Looking at the small trinket, Merlin was struck by a burst of genius. "Give me your necklace," he told her.

"What?" Morgana asked incredulously. Her hand wrapped around her necklace protectively.

"I'm going to enchant it with a healing spell. If I do it properly, it may help you sleep," Merlin told her. He wasn't sure if it would work. He had studied the spell, but without someone that actually needed it, he wasn't sure if he had done it correctly.

Morgana hesitated before she took the necklace off and handed it to Merlin. "Gefultuma hie paet heo onslaepe," Merlin whispered. He focused, willing his magic to flow into the necklace and protect Morgana through the night.  
The necklace glowed red and hot for a split second then returned to its ordinary color. There was nothing about it that would suggest it was imbedded with magic, but it should keep her from having nightmares.

Merlin handed it back to her. He watched as she put it around her neck and refastened the latch. He felt like he should say something else, but he didn't know what to say. After an awkward silence, he nodded uncomfortably. "Right… Well… Night," he said quietly.

"Goodnight Merlin," Morgana said with a fond smile on her face.

"Night," Merlin repeated softly.


	3. Unexpected

Season 2 Episode 3

Story 16: Not Alone

Chapter 3: Unexpected

After that, Merlin was in Morgana's chambers nearly every night. It was the only time it was safe for them to practice magic. It's a good thing that they were so sneaky. They didn't even want to think about the rumors that would start if someone saw a man sneaking into her chambers in the dead of night. Uther would have his head if he found out.

Every night, Merlin came prepared with something to teach Morgana. At first it was small things, repairing the items she inadvertently break while she was sleeping, put out the fires she accidentally started. He also helped her practice non-verbal magic. Helping morgana with non-verbal magic was very difficult for Merlin, because it was something he had always had. He didn't remember being out of control like Morgana often got, because he had control over his magic by the time he was a child. But Merlin persisted, because he hadn't had anyone to help him with that and he could remember how frightening it would be when he was about to fetch something and then suddenly that something was floating towards him. Or when he got frustratedly and suddenly things started to break. It was a terrifying experience. After a little over two months, Morgana was able to control her magic fairly well. She only struggled when she was particularly emotional. Merlin had decided to move on to incantations.

He didn't expect it to happen, but somewhere in the nights that he spent with her, he fell in love. Perhaps it was the joy that crossed her face whenever she practiced using magic. She looked like she felt so in touch with her magic, so at peace with who she was in those moments. Or maybe it was the moments they spent after she had practiced magic. The moments where he sat in a chair by her bed and they talked. Merlin learned so much about Morgana through their stolen conversations. The more he learned about her, the more he fell in love. He couldn't help himself.  
Merlin hadn't been prepared for it and he would have been more than prepared to pretend that his feelings for Morgana didn't exist. There was no way anything could ever happen between them. She was the king's ward and he was just a servant. Something like that may not matter to Morgana, but Uther would execute him if he even suspected that Merlin had feelings for her. So Merlin was entirely ready to ignore the pounding in his heart whenever he saw Morgana.

But then Morgause came.

Morgause arrived and challenged Arthur to a duel. Merlin had been so preoccupied with Arthur, he hadn't thought that Morgause might have an ulterior motive for spending the night in the castle. That night, she visited Morgana. What Morgause was unaware of was that when she spoke to Morgana, Merlin was hiding behind her changing screen. They had heard a knock on the door and Merlin had ducked behind the first thing he saw.

"Hello," Morgause said softly. Through the crease in between the panels of the changing screen, Merlin watched as Morgause looked over Morgana. "I wanted to introduce myself. I am Morgause."

Morgana stared at Morgause for a moment. She couldn't stop the nagging sensation that suggested she knew Morgause from somewhere. "Do I know you?" Morgana asked. "I feel as if we've met before." From the moment Morgana had first seen her, she had the strangest feeling that she knew her. She had talked to Merlin about it, but he couldn't understand how she was feeling. He tried to help her, but he didn't have the answers that she needed. When he had suggested that perhaps she had seen someone who looked similar to Morgause, Morgana went along with it, not because she agreed, but because she didn't believe she would be able to figure it out.

A pained look crossed Morgause's face. "I fear not. I haven't been in Camelot since I was just a baby. Shortly after Arthur's birth, I was smuggled out of here," Morgause explained.

"Oh," Morgana said, taken aback. Arthur was two years her elder, so if Morgause left Camelot right after he was born, Morgana had definitely never met her. "I suppose I wouldn't know you then." Morgana couldn't help the disappointment that crept into her voice.

"Not from memory," Morgause clarified. "But it heartens me that you recognize me. I am told I look much like my mother, though I do not remember her. I hope that what I hear is true because then it would mean I have a piece of my mother no one can take away from me."

"Do I know your mother?" Morgana asked confused. She went through a list of all the women married to men of nobility and couldn't recall any that looked like Morgause. Morgana felt she would have remembered that. Morgause had many distinguishing features.

"I'd imagine you knew her very well," Morgause said, getting a far off look in her eyes. "I can tell you about her if you'd like to hear it."

Morgana nodded. She wanted to solve this one last mystery. It would tug at her patience until she figured it out. "I'd be happy to hear about her," Morgana agreed.

"Everything I am about to tell you, I have heard from others," Morgause began. "I have not seen my mother since she arranged to have me escorted out of Camelot. I was just a baby then so I cannot recall what she looked like. Several months after I was smuggled out, I was left in the care of the druid camp. It wasn't until I was older that they began to tell me about the life I had left behind. I am told that not long after the first anniversary of my birth, my mother had fallen in love again. The man she had fallen in love with was a man of noble blood, one much more suitable for a woman of her standing. After three more anniversaries of my birth, my mother had another child. A half-sister I desperately wanted to meet once I found out about her, but I had been told it would be too dangerous."

"I'm sorry," Morgana said sympathetically. She couldn't imagine how difficult it would be to never know your mother. Her mother had passed away before she had reached her fifth year, but Morgana still had some precious memories of her stored deep within. On top of losing her mother, Morgause had been denied the right to meet the only family she had. Morgana felt her heart break for the strange woman she knew nothing about, yet felt strangely attached to.

"Don't apologize. My mother was happy and I was in a better place. The druid people cared for me and schooled me. I learned much from my time with them," Morgause explained. "On the eve of my ninth year, word reached the druid people that my mother had passed away. It was then that they told me everything I have shared with you and it was then that I decided that I would do everything within my power to be united with my sister."

Merlin's heart began to pound. He couldn't be right. He just couldn't be


	4. Dear Sister

Season 2 Episode 3

Story 16: Not Alone

Chapter 4: Dear Sister

Merlin couldn't tell if Morgana had understood her words, but he certainly had. Merlin had been able to do the math. Morgause had been four years old when Morgana was born. On the eve of her ninth year, her mother had passed away, just around the time that Morgana's mother had passed away. It was too similar to be a coincidence. A feeling of unease spread through Merlin. He could not figure out why Morgause was here, but he was afraid to find out the true reason. Merlin braced himself for the words he knew were coming, even as he desperately wished that he was wrong.

"The man my mother fell in love with was Gorlois Le Fey," Morgause said slowly. Morgause waited a moment for her words to sink in. "Hello sister."

Merlin watched as the color drained from Morgana's face. Morgana closed her eyes, trying to understand what she was feeling. Trying to untangle the twisted web of emotions coursing through her. She didn't know if Morgause spoke the truth, but instinct told her she had.

Merlin wanted nothing more than to go to her and tell her that everything would be okay. He wanted to hold her until she believed him when he told her that. He wanted to stay with her until she felt safe and sure of herself. But he couldn't. Because Morgause was here and no one could know that Merlin was secretly meeting with Morgana in the very dead of the night. Merlin cursed their unfortunate circumstances.

"You're my half-sister," Morgana said slowly, testing the words out. It made so much sense. It explained the strange connection she felt with Morgause. Morgana kept her voice neutral. She was struggling to control her emotions. Her feelings were hard-wired to her magic and she didn't know what would happen if she didn't calm down. She didn't have as much difficulty with it anymore, but on the occasions when her composure lapses and she is overcome by anger or fear, something always ends up broken… or on fire.

Morgana was trying a technique Merlin had taught her. He told her to recite something over and over again in her head. Never a spell because then she might accidentally do magic, but something that would help calm her down. Thinking of Merlin, Morgana's eyes flickered over to where she knew Merlin was hiding.

Morgana wanted nothing more than to talk to him. Merlin would know what to say to make this better. He always knew how to make everything better. Sometimes, he knew how to make things better before she even knew that they were wrong. She would just have to wait until Morgause left, then he would make it better, he would make everything okay. Mentally reciting his name over and over and over again, like a mantra, Morgana turned back to Morgause reluctantly.

"Why are you telling me this?" Morgana asked her. She could help the accusatory tone in her voice. Why would Morgause come to her room in the dead of the night to relay news like this? Surely this was the type of information that one didn't just blurt out, especially not in the dead of the night.

"You are the only family I have left," Morgause said softly. "And I am the only family you have left. I wanted to meet you. I've heard that you look like our mother as well. I can't say I disagree. I see the resemblance between us."

Merlin eyed Morgause skeptically now. There was absolutely no resemblance between Morgana and Morgause. Morgause had blonde hair that looked a bit like straw. Her cheekbones stood out, making her face look angular. Morgana had black hair and a soft face that made her look innocent and approachable. They were complete opposites. Anyone with eyes could see that. Merlin wasn't sure he would be able to find two women that looked more different.

"Why did you leave?" Morgana asked her quietly. "Why have I never heard of you?"

"It wasn't safe for me anymore," Morgause explained. "My father had been executed for studying magic. I think my mother feared that if I grew up here, constantly hearing about how my father was murdered for his magic that I would want to study magic. She wanted to distance me from that. It's ironic, because it had the opposite effect. I grew up in a druid camp, surrounded by magic. Eventually I studied it, just as my father had."

"You study magic?" Morgana asked. Her eyes widened with hope. It was rare that she got to meet someone that studied magic, someone that knew how she felt. For a long time, only Merlin understood her. Now she had a sister. A sister that knew magic. For a moment, Morgana forgot all of her fears and doubts.

Morgause nodded. "That is another reason why I am here," she said slowly. "I have heard that you suffer from nightmares. No one could tell me if you had magic, but I figured if you were having visions you might need some help. I wanted to see if I could be of assistance."

Morgana stared for a moment. How could Morgause have known about her nightmares? They weren't kept secret, not exactly. But they weren't exactly common knowledge. "My nightmares have not plagued me in a very long time," Morgana told her. They hadn't bothered her since Merlin started helping her with magic. She knew part of it was the spell that resided in her necklace, but part of it was also the comforting presence Merlin had on her. She felt safe when she was with him.

Morgause studied Morgana for a long moment. "I know this must be frightening for you. I just want you to know that you could trust me," Morgause told her. Morgause hesitated as if she were uncertain with what would happen next. "I want to make an offer to you. I would like to offer you the chance to be yourself. You could leave with me and I could teach you magic. You could become the powerful priestess you are destined to be." Morgause looked at Morgana, taking in how drained she looked. This had been a lot for her to take in all at once. "You don't have to choose right now. Meet me in two night's time outside the gates with your answer. I hope you will accept my offer." Morgause's voice dropped to a whisper. "We could be a family."

With that Morgause left. Morgana stood there until the door closed, a thousand thoughts swirled through her head.

The second the door closed, Merlin leapt out of his hiding spot and was at Morgana's side. She embraced him, burying her head in his shoulder. After such a long time of trying to appear strong, it felt nice to feel protected.

Merlin didn't try to talk to her about Morgause's offer. He knew she wasn't ready for that. Instead he just held her. He held her and hoped that she wouldn't choose Morgause. He hoped she would choose him.


	5. You Could Not Leave

Season 2 Episode 3

Story 16: Not Alone

Chapter 5: You Could Not Leave

The next day seemed to crawl by. Merlin just wanted it to be nighttime so he could go visit Morgana, but it seemed as if Arthur had more chores for him to do than usual. Arthur had him running around like a chicken without a head. When the sun had finally set and Camelot had gone to sleep, Merlin snuck into Morgana's chambers. He was exhausted and sore, but he would never miss a night with Morgana, especially not this night.

Morgana looked up at him when he walked in, a look of guilt crossing her face. A feeling of dread overcame him, making his blood feel icy cold as it coursed through his veins. She had made her decision and if the look she had given him was anything to go by, he wasn't going to like the decision she was going to make.

He closed his eyes, praying he wouldn't hear the words he knew she was going to say. He hoped that something would go right for once, that something good would happen to him. Just this once, he hoped weakly. Luck was not on his side. "When Morgause leaves, I am going to go with her," Morgana whispered. She refused to look at Merlin. He was her best friend and she knew this would upset him greatly, but she needed to do it.

"Why?" Merlin asked helplessly. He didn't open his eyes, because he was afraid of what she would see. He didn't want Morgana to see the pain that would be dancing in his eyes. He didn't want her to realize that she meant the world to him, while he clearly wasn't worth anything to her. He didn't want her to go. He could feel a pain in his chest as if his heart were preparing itself to be broken.

"She's the only family I have," Morgana told him. "She understands me in a way no one else does. If I stay here, I'll always be afraid. There's nothing left for me."

Merlin felt as if he had been stabbed. Her words had hurt him more than he had thought possible. He knew she hadn't meant them that way, but to him she had practically just said that he meant nothing to her. "You would just leave your life behind?" Merlin challenged. "Arthur and Gwen? Do they mean nothing to you?" Merlin was barely aware that he was walking towards Morgana. "You would leave them?" His voice dropped to a whisper. It was fortunate he was standing so close to Morgana or she might not have heard him. "You would leave me?"

"I don't want to leave you, but I have to," Morgana said softly. She looked at Merlin guiltily. He had been the hardest part of her decision. He had risked his life every night just to help her learn magic. He had made her feel like magic wasn't something to be feared. He had helped her realize she wasn't a monster. She didn't want to leave him, but she knew she couldn't pass up this opportunity.

For the first time, someone had given her the opportunity to be herself without fear of the repercussions. Here, she was a prisoner during the day. Out there, she would be free. There was only so much Merlin could do for her. Right now, they could only meet in secret in the dark of the night. He was a great friend, and she would miss him, but she needed a family.

"I need to be with my sister. I need a family," Morgana whispered. Ever since her father had died, she hadn't felt whole. He had left her under Uther's supervision and while she had never wanted for anything, it hadn't been enough. Morgana hadn't realized exactly what she had been missing until Morgause offered it to her. For the first time, Morgana felt hope that she would understand who she was. "When I see Morgause tomorrow night, I'm going to tell her that I'm going with her." Morgana felt like she needed to say it again, more to convince herself that she was doing the right thing.

"We're your family too!" Merlin exploded. "Maybe not by blood, but we are your family. Arthur and Gwen and me! Family isn't measure by the blood you share, but by the memories you share." He was practically yelling at her, but he didn't care. He couldn't lose her.

"It's not enough!" Morgana shouted. She couldn't help the tears that fell down her cheeks. Morgana anxiously glanced at the door. She wasn't sure how anyone could have ignored the shouting coming from a room where everyone should be asleep. The answer came to her. Merlin must have used magic to give them privacy. He did that often when they were practicing magic so no one would overhear them and suspect her of using sorcery. "I have to do this Merlin, please understand." She didn't know how to make him understand the overpowering need she had to be with her sister.

"I can't understand it," he said softly. "I can't understand how you could just leave me behind!" Morgana took a step closer to him and was surprised to see that he was crying as well. He hid it better than she did, but a few traitorous tears betrayed him.

"I don't want to leave you behind. You have done more for me than anyone else here and for that I am grateful! But I need to do what is best for me! You're an amazing man Merlin. I'm sorry," Morgana whispered.

"How do you know that this is what's best for you?" Merlin challenged.

"Because she is my sister," Morgana told him.

"She's your half-sister. One that has been completely absent from your life until this point," Merlin pointed out.

"Not by choice," Morgana said sharply. "And she found me. She's here to help me!"

"So am I!" Merlin shouted. Morgana looked away from him. She couldn't bear to see how much she was hurting him. She didn't know how to make him understand. Merlin always had a family. He never understood what it was like to feel like you were missing part of yourself, missing a part that could only be filled by your family.

"What can I do to make this better?" Morgana asked him desperately. She didn't want to leave on a bad note. This may be the last time she sees Merlin and she wouldn't be able to bare it if he hated her when they left.

Merlin gently shifted her chin so she was looking at him. She hadn't realized how close they were standing. "Don't leave," he whispered. That was the last thing Morgana processed before Merlin pressed his lips to hers. Morgana froze, unable to form a single coherent thought. She wasn't thinking about Morgause. She wasn't thinking about how she was leaving. Every ounce of her being was focused on the kiss. His right hand held her left wrist and his left hand tangled in her hair. She could taste the salt from his tears mixing with hers.

She had never thought Merlin would have feelings for her, she had never felt like she was the kind of woman he deserved. That didn't stop her from dreaming. How many times had she dreamt of this moment? How many times had she wished that Merlin would look at her as if she weren't the king's ward? All of her wildest imaginings hadn't held a candle to the perfection of reality.

She melted into the kiss, allowing herself to forget for a moment that she was leaving and breaking Merlin's heart. For a moment all that mattered was how she felt about Merlin and the miracle that he felt the same for her.

As soon as it had started, it was over. Merlin took a step away from her, his face turning a brighter red than his scarf. Morgana felt the loss immediately. "You could not leave," he whispered again. Then he turned and ran from her chambers. Morgana watched him go. She wasn't in the right state of mind to follow him.


	6. No One Can Choose Their Destiny

Season 2 Episode 3

Story 16: Not Alone

Chapter 6: No One Can Choose Their Destiny

Morgana didn't chase after him. She couldn't if she had tried. She was still rooted to the spot where Merlin had kissed her, trying to process what had happened. It had passed in a blur. One moment Merlin was kissing her, the next he was gone. But she didn't blame him. She would have done the same thing.

Merlin closed the door to Morgana's chambers behind him. Then he ran. He ran back to his room. The moment he got back, he sat down on his bed. He was breathless, a mixture of the kiss and his exertion from running.

He couldn't believe he had just done that. He was mortified, yet he didn't regret it. If Morgana was going to leave, he wanted to have kissed her at least once. He needed her to know how he felt.

Merlin growled at the wall. There had to be a way to convince Morgana to stay.

But, a traitorous voice in the back of his head whispered, what if going with Morgause is what's best for Morgana?

Merlin hated that tiny voice. He hated the seed of doubt it planted in him. He wanted what's best for Morgana and if that's what was best for her, he would have to let her go. But he didn't know for sure if that is what's best for her.  
How could he know what was best for her? He was only human. Merlin sat up straight, suddenly struck by a burst of genius. No human had the answer he needed, but he knew exactly who did. He knew who would be able to tell him what to do.

Without thinking, Merlin darted out of his bedroom and made his way down the familiar path to the antechamber Kilgharrah was imprisoned in. Merlin was impressed that he didn't get caught, because he wasn't even attempting to be silent. He supposed the knights were so used to nightly intruders that a serving boy running through the castle didn't phase them.

When Merlin descended the steps, the sleeping dragon blinked its eye. He yawned and stretched his mighty wings. "To what do I owe the displeasure of your company?" Kilgharrah asked.

"What do you know of a witch, Morgause?" Merlin asked, ignoring the dragon's jibe.

"I am not an endless source of knowledge," Kilgharrah said, blinking his beady eye. "Do not presume that I have the answers that you seek."

"Morgause is the Lady Morgana's half-sister. She intends for Morgana to go with her. She wants Morgana to leave Camelot," Merlin told him. He wondered if his voice sounded strange to Kilgharrah, or just to him. "I need to know what will happen to her if she leaves."

Kilgharrah studied Merlin for a moment. "I do not have the answers to your questions," Kilgharrah told him. "I have heard of the witch Morgana but I do not know what role the witch Morgause will play in her future."

"Please. There must be something!" Merlin begged. Kilgharrah had been his only hope.

Kilgharrah hesitated. Merlin didn't know what would convince him. Luckily, he didn't need to find out. "Deep in the Valley of the Fallen Kings, there lies a cave. A cave that is said to hold knowledge of everything that has happened, everything that is happening, and everything that has yet to pass. This place is called the Crystal Caves. Perhaps that will help you where I cannot," Kilgharrah said.

Merlin nodded. "Thank you," he whispered. He started to leave, but Kilgharrah stopped him.

"Young warlock," he called. "I do not part with this information lightly. The future is a terrifying thing to behold. Exercise caution that you do not see something you will come to regret. Be careful that you don't abuse the privilege you are being granted."

"I won't," Merlin promised.

"And Merlin?" Kilgharrah called. "Beware the witch. I do not know what her intentions are, but her destiny is a dark one. No one can choose their destiny… and no one can escape it." Merlin had the most uncomfortable sensation that Kilgharrah was not talking about Morgause.

Merlin ignored that nagging feeling. He nodded once more and with that he left.

He was familiar with the Crystal Caves. It was a legend that was passed on from mother to child across the generations. Merlin had always thought it was a myth. The birthplace of magic seemed more appropriate for a child's story than for real life.

Merlin went back to Gaius's chambers and began his research. He only had a day to find the Crystal Caves and uncover Morgana's future.

Truth be told, Merlin felt a little invasive. It wasn't his place to take a peek at Morgana's future, but he knew he would not be able to rest until he knew Morgana would be safe with Morgause.

It only took Merlin a little over an hour to find a book that had a map showing him how to get to the Crystal Caves. With a quick goodbye to Gaius and a request that he cover for him with Arthur, Merlin was on his way.

The hours seemed to drag by as Merlin made his way to the Crystal Caves. When he arrived at the cave, he was impressed by the ease of his travels. The woods were usually swarming with bandits, yet there hadn't been a single one in sight. It was almost like the God's wanted him to get to the caves without delay, as if they wanted him to know the secrets the cave possessed.

Merlin couldn't help it as his breath caught in his throat as he beheld the cave. On the outside, it looked so ordinary. Yet Merlin knew the truth. The cave was a diamond in the rough. Thousands of men have walked past it without a second glance, unawares that everything they could possibly want to know lied within its walls.

Merlin could feel the magic pulsing within its wall. It made his very essence hum with anticipation. He felt called to the caves, as if he were meant to be there at this exact point in time.

Steeling himself, Merlin entered the caves. As Merlin peered around in the darkness, he didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. He followed the twists and turns of the cave, going deeper and deeper. Finally, when he was ready to abandon hope and just turn around, when he was ready to accept that he was imagining the magic he felt, he saw a slight glow on the horizon.

Merlin tip toed towards the light as if the slightest amount of noise would cause it to disappear. He could hear the pounding of drums in his ears and it took him a moment to realize that he was hearing his own heartbeat, racing in anticipation of what was coming.

Merlin's jaw dropped as he stepped into an antechamber. There were crystals everywhere. They were spiking out of the floor, crawling down the walls, hanging from the ceiling. He moved forward hesitantly. He knew that he needed to look at the future, but now that the moment was here, he was terrified. He could remember what Kilgharrah had warned him of.

"The future is a terrifying thing to behold. Exercise caution that you do not see something you will come to regret."

Merlin was terrified of the future. He was terrified that if he looked into the crystal, he would see a Morgana in the future that had allowed her powers to go to her head. He was afraid he would see a Morgana that wasn't very Morgana.

He was even more terrified that he would see her happy. He didn't know what he would do then. If she were happy, he would have to let her go. A future without Morgana scared him more than any other.

Merlin closed his eyes, trying to find the strength he would need to behold the future. Taking a deep breath, Merlin picked up one of the crystals. It came out of the ground easily. He held it for a moment, unsure of what he should do. Kilgharrah hadn't told him that he needed to use any spell.

Merlin studied the crystal as if the answer would appear in it. It did.

Merlin watched as an image formed in the depths of the crystal. There was no going back.


	7. The Future is a Scary Place

Season 2 Episode 3

Story 16: Not Alone

Chapter 7: The Future is a Scary Place

Merlin stared as he saw the rolling fields close to Camelot. If he hadn't recognized the fence that surrounded them, he would have never known what he was looking at. The fields that were once filled with flourishing crops were now unrecognizable through the flames that consumed them. There were wagon wheels and wreckage everywhere. Merlin's stomach lurched as he thought he caught a glimpse of someone's leg before the smoke made further investigation impossible. Merlin wanted to look away, but he refused to let himself. He wanted to know the truth about Morgana's future. He had known the repercussions of looking into the future. He couldn't change his mind now.

As the image shifted, he could see bodies everywhere. Men clad in the red of Camelot, as well as men clad in pure black. Merlin nearly dropped the crystal in shock. He had never seen such carnage. He was looking at a battle field. There were places where the bodies were piled as if they had started to assemble the dead in between threats. There were blood splatters, and pieces of chain main scattered throughout. For what seemed like hours, the crystal showed him the depth of the turmoil. He watched men get beheaded and stabbed and burnt. He watched children become orphans, parents become parentless, and spouses become widows. The grief that he witnessed was threatening to drive him mad, yet Merlin persisted. He was witnessing a change. The world would never be the same after this. The impact of this battle would live on long after it was won. The more he saw, the more Merlin could not figure out how anyone would willing go to war. After seeing the impact it had on the land and the people that lived in that land, Merlin didn't want anything to do with war.

The image shifted and now he was inside the castle. The wreckage inside was just as bad as outside. The walls were crumbling and where the ceiling once stood, there was only the starry sky. The only difference being that outside, the bodies of civilians mixed with the knights and with the enemy. Inside, Merlin could only see the knights. There had been no refuge for the people of Camelot during the war.

When Merlin saw Arthur, lying on the floor, the tears started. Merlin didn't know how he had made it this far without crying, but now it was too much. The future was truly a terrible place. Kilgharrah was right. Merlin didn't know how anyone could bear the burden of the future. He was only getting a glimpse at a thin sliver of the future, he couldn't imagine bearing witness to more. Merlin stared at Arthur, willing the future to change. Willing the unbearable to not be before him. No matter how strong Merlin's will was, the image before him did not waver. Arthur's chainmail was torn in the center and Merlin could see how his blood turned it a rusty color. Blood was pooling around him and his chest was rising irregularly as if he were struggling to breathe. Merlin watched as the man that he had spent years protecting, took his last shuddering breath. Just like that, Merlin had failed. Just like that, it was all over. No spell could bring back that which had died. Arthur was his best friend, even if Merlin was loath to admit it. Merlin knew Arthur was alive in the present, but that didn't erase the knowledge that Arthur's years were numbered.

Merlin tore his eyes off of Arthur and finally looked at the two figures hunched over him.

There was a young man holding a bloody sword. It was he that had stabbed Arthur. Merlin studied the man for a moment. He looked so familiar, but at first Merlin couldn't place where he had seen him. After a moment, Merlin realized that it was the druid boy. He had aged since the last time Merlin saw him. That was the first indication Merlin had to how far in the future this would take place. At least ten years had to have passed. The young boy that Morgana had desperately wanted to save had just killed Arthur. Kilgharrah had warned him that the druid boy was destined to kill Arthur. Merlin hadn't been able to believe a little boy capable of that. He had forgotten that that little boy was going to grow up one day. As a boy, he hadn't been a threat, but as a man he was the flame that destroyed Camelot.

The other person was Morgana. Merlin had to force himself to keep looking. This was the part he had been dreading. Here was where he found out what side Morgana was on. It was possible that through everything Merlin had just seen that Morgana hadn't been behind it. There was a chance that Morgana had not brought upon this future. That hope disappeared the moment he saw her face.

He couldn't hear what she was saying to him, but the look of her face spoke volumes. There was a hint of pride and a dash of smugness, but most of all she looked victorious. She was happy that Arthur was dying. The smug look on her face hit Merlin harder than anything else he had seen. It twisted her features into a mask of hatred and vengeance.

Morgana pulled down the hood of her cloak. Her hair looked like it was made up of tangled wire and her face had a deep, haunted look. If Merlin hadn't known better, he would never have thought that was Morgana. He would never have believed it, but she was undeniably her. Underneath her mask, he could see the morgana he knew and loved. He could see the blue eyes that used to be filled with compassion. Underneath her smirk, he could see the affectionate smile she used to wear. He could see her even if she wasn't fully there.

As Arthur took his last breath, a smile crossed Morgana's face. Merlin had never seen Morgana smile like that and he hoped to never see that smile on her again. It was a smile that said a great evil had happened and she was happy it had. For the first time, Merlin agreed with Morgause. For the first time, Merlin could see the family resemblance. This was Morgause's fault. She had turned a beautiful person into a dark and dangerous monster. That realization brought a sense of finality to everything he had seen.

Merlin dropped the crystal. He could not see anymore. He had his answer. He needed to stop her.

When Merlin looked around, he was surprised to realize that he had fallen to his knees at some point when he had been looking into the crystal. Sobs were wracking through his chest as he gripped the wall for strength. He had been entirely unprepared for what he was going to see. Even the worst case he had anticipated hadn't been as bad as the truth. Nothing could have prepared him for the death and suffering he had witnessed. Merlin felt as if something had shifted in him. He was not the same man that had entered the caves.


	8. The Darkness Within

Season 2 Episode 3

Story 16: Not Alone

Chapter 8: The Darkness Within

Merlin looked down at the crystal where it lay on the ground. The future still swirled around in it, but Merlin couldn't make it out from where he was kneeling. Hesitantly, Merlin picked up the crystal. Being careful not to look at it too closely, he wrapped it up and put it in a pocket in his tunic.

He had no wish to revisit the future, but he didn't know if he would have the option. As much of a burden as the future is, as long as Arthur is his destiny, it would be a necessary burden to carry. As much as Merlin hoped he would never have to look inside the crystal some part of him knew it was inevitable. Perhaps the crystal would help Merlin save Arthur when the time came.

Merlin took one more moment to compose himself and dry his tears. He would never be able to unsee what he had seen, but he needed to move past it. If he didn't, he would always be living in the horror of the future. Right now, he had to focus on what to do in the present to prevent the future.

Step by step, Merlin forced himself to leave the cave. It seemed no time had passed before he stepped out into the shining sun. Merlin blinked, surprised by the sunlight. It didn't seem right that with such a dark future, there could be so much light in the present.

Merlin made his way back to Camelot. He went straight to Morgana's chambers. He knew Gwen should have finished her morning chores by now, so Morgana should be alone. It was dangerous for him to be there, but he couldn't delay this. He had precious little time to convince her not to leave.

Merlin knocked gently on her door. He looked over his shoulder to make sure he would be able to enter unseen. When Morgana opened the door, she looked at Merlin anxiously. "What are you doing here?" She asked him. She looked around, making sure there was no one around to see them.

Merlin didn't answer. Instead, he slipped through her door. Morgana glanced around outside one last time before she closed the door. It was one thing for Merlin to visit her at night when most people were sleeping, but during the day this was just recklessness.

Morgana turned to look at Merlin expectantly. He must have a very good reason for coming here.

Merlin chewed his lip. He had given a lot of thought to how he should broach the topic with Morgana. He had been unsuccessful in coming up with anything, so he would be winging this conversation.

"About last night…" Merlin began. He wasn't sure how to tell her she had made the wrong decision.

Morgana closed her eyes. Everything made sense now. Merlin was too noble for his own good. "Do not tell me that you regretted it," Morgana said through gritted teeth. "And do not tell me it was a mistake."

Merlin stared at her. He had no idea what she was talking about. "What are–" Merlin began to ask.  
"Because I don't regret it. I actually rather enjoyed it. I know we never spoke about it and I never believed you would care for me that way. But that doesn't mean it was wrong. Please don't tell me that you feel it was a mistake," Morgana said pleadingly.

Merlin finally caught up with her. She thought he was here to apologize for kissing her. "No," he said, shaking his head. "I don't regret it. Of course I don't regret it." Merlin paused and flushed from embarrassment as he realized what she had said. "Did you say you enjoyed it?"

Now it was Morgana's turn to blush. She looked at the ground. She had very little experience with stuff like that, but she had never felt that way before. "Didn't you?" She asked, her voice barely a whisper.

"Of course I did," Merlin told her. This may be the most awkward conversation he's ever had. "A lot. I just never thought… I mean you're the king's ward. I'm… I'm just a servant."

"You're not just a servant," Morgana told him. She looked at Merlin unblinkingly. "Not to me. I love you."

Merlin knew there had been a reason that he had come to her chambers, but he couldn't remember it. The only thing that mattered to him in that moment was Morgana and what she had just said to him. "You do?" He whispered. He couldn't help the smile that spread across his face.

"Of course I do," Morgana told him.

"I love you too," Merlin told her.

Suddenly the distance between them didn't exist. The kiss they shared was so different from the one before. They had both been prepared for this one and they both responded. It wasn't a kiss shared between someone saying goodbye, it was a kiss shared between two people that loved each other.

A knock on the door had them jumping apart from one another. Merlin looked at Morgana and frantically picked up the little vial of liquid that rested on the table in her room. "Make sure you drink this before you dine tonight. Gaius said if you need more, he would be happy to prepare it for you," Merlin said to her as someone entered her chambers. He wasn't sure how convincing his act would be considering he was still flushed from their heated kiss. Looking at Morgana, he could see that her cheeks were still filled with color as well.

Merlin turned to see it was Gwen that entered Morgana's chambers. He almost let out a sigh of relief. At least it wasn't someone that would not have him killed if they found out the truth.

"My lady," Gwen said curtsying to Morgana.

"Gwen," Morgana nodded. She sounded a little breathless and Merlin hoped Gwen wouldn't notice.

"I just came to see if there was anything else I could do for you," Gwen asked. She shot Morgana a concerned look. Merlin held his breath. Gwen was one of the most observant people he knew. she could hear that there was something off in Morgana.

"No, but thank you Gwen," Morgana said with a small smile.

Gwen looked at Morgana confused before she curtsied and left. "That was close," Morgana muttered.

Merlin nodded in agreement, but his mind was already on other things. Gwen had shattered the atmosphere around them, reminding him why he was in Morgana's chambers in the first place.

"Morgana," Merlin started hesitantly. He wasn't sure if she was still leaving. It was one thing to leave before, but now she had confessed her feelings for him. Maybe she would want to stay. "There is a reason why I came here. I wanted to talk about the decision you made."

Morgana turned to him. "I'm sorry Merlin. I wish I could stay," she whispered. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"I know that it's your decision, but…" Merlin started to say.

A smile crossed Morgana's face. "I appreciate that you aren't putting up more of a fight about this," Morgana said. "You understand that this is something I need to do. Most men wouldn't let me go, but you love me too much to make me stay. I can't tell you how much that means to me. Thank you for not making me stay." Morgana threw her arms around Merlin.

Merlin froze where he stood. He opened and closed his mouth several times, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't tell Morgana the truth. Not when she had just put her faith and trust in him. Merlin frowned. He supposed it had always been inevitable. He would never have been able to hurt Morgana like that. Knowing what her future held would have killed her. He had to let her go.

He hated to do it. But it was her life and her future. She had the right to make her future on her own without any interference from Merlin. He had to hope that she would be strong enough to fight her destiny.

"No one can choose their destiny… and no one can escape it." Kilgharrah's words reverberated in his head. He closed his eyes. He refused to believe that. He had seen it, but he refused to believe that Morgana's goodness wouldn't win out. Her love would be stronger than her hatred.

Merlin sighed. There was nothing more he could do for her. She had chosen and more importantly, she hadn't chosen him.

Merlin didn't say anything, instead he took a step towards Morgana and wrapped his arms around her. She felt so right in his arms. He hated to let that go. Merlin kissed her forehead gently. "Morgana, don't forget who you really are," Merlin told her quietly.

With that he left. He didn't say goodbye, because he didn't think he'd ever leave if he had to say goodbye.

Merlin stormed back to Gaius's chambers. When he walked in, he saw Gaius stirring something at his work bench. Gaius took one look at Merlin and stopped what he was doing.

"I need your help," Merlin told him desperately.


	9. Choices

Season 2 Episode 3

Story 16: Not Alone

Chapter 9: Choices

Morgana stared after Merlin for a moment, her anger swelling. He wasn't going to even say goodbye? Morgana wasn't oblivious. She knew he wasn't happy that she was leaving, she could see it in his face when he left. Part of her had hoped that Merlin would tell her to stay, but he hadn't. He was just letting her go. He had had a choice to make and he hadn't chosen her.

Morgana stood there steaming for a moment before she decided she wasn't going to accept that. She stormed out of her room and followed Merlin back to Gaius's chambers. She was raising her hand to knock on the door when she heard Merlin speak. "I need your help," Merlin said. Morgana flinched. Merlin sounded so close to tears.

"What can I do for you m'boy?" Morgana heard Gaius ask anxiously.

"It's about Morgana," Merlin whispered. Morgana froze. She knew it was wrong to listen in to other people's conversations, but she couldn't have moved if she wanted to. Merlin needed Gaius's help for something to do with her. She had a right to know what that was and Merlin obviously wasn't going to talk to her himself.

"What's wrong?" Gaius asked. Morgana heard the shuffling as Merlin walked across the floor. She could hear the creak indicating that he sat down.

"You know the woman that challenged Arthur?" Merlin asked.

"They are to fight tomorrow morning," Gaius said.

"That woman is Morgause… You recognize the name," Merlin commented.

Morgana sighed. She hated that she couldn't see them. "I fear that I do. A fortnight after her father was executed for his powers, his mother came to me begging for help. I was one of the men that helped smuggle her out of the city. I arranged for her to be raised by a Druid camp, under the supervision of a high priestess of the Old Religion. I knew that it was inevitable that Morgause would study magic one day and I hoped that by learning it from the Druids, she would learn how to control it and use it as a force for good," Gaius explained.

"Why did you not tell me?" Merlin asked. Morgana thought she heard a hint of betrayal in his voice.

"I have not seen her since she was an infant. I never thought to bring it up," Gaius told him. "But if she is back, that is grave news indeed. I fear she may take after her father."

"Would that be a bad thing?" Merlin asked confused. Morgana frowned. Morgause had made it seem like her father was wrongfully executed.

"A very bad thing," Gaius said. "I wouldn't say her father was a bad man, not exactly. But he caused many innocent men to die."

"How?" Merlin asked breathlessly.

"Morgan would do whatever it took to get money and power. It wasn't until a failed attempt to murder Uther that he finally got caught," Gaius told him. "That was a little after Morgause had been born. It devastated Vivienne. She had had no idea that her husband was practicing sorcery. But she had loved him very much. When he was killed, she was torn apart. Fortunately for her, Gorlois was there for her. Eventually, what started as companionship turned into love. It was Gorlois that suggested their child be named after Morgan. Gorlois was a good man and it was a measure of the great love he felt for Vivienne that he decided to accept her past rather than dismiss it."

"Morgana is named after a sorcerer that killed people?" Merlin asked. Morgana felt the blood draining from her face. She had never thought to ask where her name had come from. She disliked thinking she had been named after someone that had so much hate in their heart.

"Don't get me wrong. There was no evil in Morgan. He just wanted to make a life for Vivienne and their child," Gaius explained. "Similarly to Gwen's father, he wanted the best for his loved ones. They met similar fates. Morgana was named out of respect for a loved one. Her name came from love, not hate."

Morgana heard Merlin sigh. "Morgause wanted Morgana to leave with her," Merlin whispered. His voice was full of heartbreak and sorrow. "Tonight, Morgana is going to accept. Gaius what do I do? How do I stop her?"

"How did you know that?" Gaius asked him. There was a short pause. "Merlin?"

"I spoke to Morgana about it," Merlin admitted reluctantly. Morgana frowned. She had never considered that Gaius might now know that Merlin had been helping her with her magic.

"When did you speak to her about it?" Gaius asked. Morgana could imagine the look Gaius would be giving Merlin and she was grateful she wasn't on the receiving end of that.

"Last night," Merlin muttered.

"Why were you with her last night?" Gaius demanded. Merlin didn't answer, but it must have been obvious from his face. "I told you not to interfere, why can't you just listen. You spoke to her about her magic last night, didn't you? Do you know how dangerous that is for her? She's the king's ward! Look at me Merlin!"

"I'm sorry! I don't know what you want me to tell you! I've been helping her for months. Ever since she first came to you and you refused to give her the help she needed!" Merlin yelled. "Gaius you have no idea what it's like for her. I've listened to her talk about it for months and I still don't fully understand how frightened she is. I was the only there for her, because you refused to be!"

"Months? You've been helping her for months? Do you mean to tell me that you've been sneaking into the Lady Morgana's chambers to teach her magic?" Gaius asked. His voice rose as he spoke. "Do you realize how reckless that was? Do you have any brains in your head? If Uther were to find out, he would kill you both! I warned you Merlin. Leave things as they should be!"

"As they should be?" Merlin asked. "Should Morgana be afraid of her own shadow? Should she be left in the dark because you are too afraid to help her see the light? I couldn't do that to her."


	10. The Hatred to Her Light

Season 2 Episode 3

Story 16: Not Alone

Chapter 10: The Hatred to Her Light

"It's too dangerous! She is the king's ward!" Gaius reminded him.

"I had to do something!" Merlin shouted. His voice sounded shaky as if he had begun to cry. "You certainly weren't going to do anything."

"You should have left things be!" Gaius said harshly.

"You don't understand! It's terrifying to have magic and not know why!" Merlin told him. "You feel unnatural and unwanted. You feel like a monster! I couldn't let Morgana feel like that. I didn't want her to hurt."

There was a long pause.

"Merlin… please tell me you didn't…" Gaius said slowly.

"I didn't mean to," Merlin whispered. "It just happened."

"How did it happen?" Gaius asked.

"It was about three weeks ago," Merlin whispered. "Morgana was practicing moving a vase across the room. She was really struggling with that spell and it was making her frustrated. Well, it dropped and shatter while she was moving it. She got so upset and started crying. When I saw her cry, I realized that I never wanted to see her upset again. I wanted to make it better for her. I wanted to make the pain go away. I didn't want it to happen, but I don't regret that it did. I love her Gaius."

Morgana flushed a deep red. She and Merlin had talked briefly about their feelings and she knew that he loved her, but it was completely different to hear him say it to someone else.

"I'm sorry," Gaius said quietly.

"And now she's leaving me. I don't want her to leave, but she's leaving anyway," Merlin whispered. "And Morgause is going to twist her. She's going to make her evil." Morgana felt her anger return. How dare he presume such a terrible thing?

"You can't know that," Gaius said softly.

"I can though… I went to Kilgharrah," Merlin whispered. Morgana wondered who Kilgharrah was.

"He doesn't know everything," Gaius pointed out.

"He sent me to the Crystal Caves," Merlin continued as if Gaius hadn't spoken. "I saw terrible things Gaius. And Morgana was the cause of them."

"What did you see?" Gaius asked.

"I… I can't talk about it," Merlin told him. "But I can show you." Morgana heard shuffling again.

"My God," Gaius said reverently. "I never thought I would get to see one of these, much less hold it." Morgana was becoming increasingly agitated that she couldn't see inside the room.

"Look into it," Merlin whispered. "It's unbearable, but look at what she does."

Several minutes passed and they said nothing. Morgana had had enough. She barged into the room, stopping dead when she saw that Gaius was staring a mere crystal. "I want to know what has you so convinced that I am going to be evil one day," Morgana demanded. She looked at Merlin and hesitated. He looked completely devastated. His eyes were a little red and there was a damp spot on his sleeve, suggesting that he had hastily wiped away his tears when she walked in.

"I don't think you do," Merlin whispered.

"She has a right to this," Gaius pointed out, gesturing to the crystal. He had only looked into the crystal for a few minutes and already he had a haunted look on his face.

Morgana took a step towards Gaius, extending her hand to him. He handed her the crystal. "Morgana," Merlin said quickly. "No matter what you see, know that only you control your future. It's not definite."

"Is it that bad?" Morgana asked. She sounded like a child, begging for the answer that will make her feel better regardless of whether it's a lie.

But Merlin was going to lie to her. "Yes," he told her. "I'm not going to sugar coat it. What you are about to see, it's going to be bad. But I'm right here. I'll always be right here, helping you."

"I know," Morgana whispered. She mustered up every ounce of courage in her body and forced herself to look into the crystal.

She was confused at first. She saw herself with Mordred. She was certain it was him. She would never forget the druid boy she had met just months ago. Mordred had aged. He was a boy the last time she saw him and now he was a man.

Morgana was shocked when she saw herself. She blinked, hoping that she would miraculously look better, but it didn't work. She looked awful. She was so dirty, her dress was in tatters, and looked like she hadn't bathed in years. And the look in her eyes… Morgana didn't want to know what would make her look like that. The Morgana of the future held a sword out to Mordred. As if she had summoned it, a pure white dragon appeared. It consumed the sword with flames.

Morgana expected the sword to melt, but it didn't. It looked exactly as it had before. The she of the future looked pleased. She had expected that outcome. The image shifted as she and Mordred walked. Morgana looked on with horror as future-Morgana smiled at the dead bodies they walked past. Soldier after soldier, peasant after peasant. It seemed she was intentionally going out of her way to step on hands and kick aside the legs of the fallen soldiers. Even in death, the men were shown no mercy. Even the men that must have been fighting for her. She showed no remorse.

Morgana began to feel terrified. Is this what Morgause would do to her? Turn her into someone that reveled in the death and casualties that war would inevitably bring. It made Morgana nauseous. She could barely look at the dead bodies right now. What could cause her to transform so significantly? What could change her so much?

Eventually Morgana and Mordred walked right into the castle. They met no resistance. There was no one left to stop them. As if she knew exactly where to go, they walked towards the chambers where Uther stayed. They walked in and Morgana could see Uther, lying on the floor near his bed. He was deathly pale. Morgana didn't particularly care for Uther. He was too hard-hearted and cruel, but it pained her to see him like this. Arthur and Merlin were crouched by his side. Merlin was using some kind of cream on Uther.

Upon hearing Morgana and Mordred enter, Arthur and Merlin jumped to their feet. The Merlin of the future looked at Morgana sadly. His mouth moved and then suddenly the Morgana of the future was blasted into a wall.

Arthur just stared. So he hadn't known yet. His face twisted with anger and betrayal as he stared at Merlin. No words came to him, Morgana doubted he would know what to say. His distraction gave Mordred the opening to kill him. The sword plunged into Arthur's chest. When Mordred pulled the sword out, he left a gaping wound in its place. Arthur was dying.


	11. Choose Your Future

Season 2 Episode 3

Story 16: Not Alone

Chapter 11: Choose Your Future

She watched as future-Morgana and Mordred walked over to Arthur. They crouched by his side. Morgana spoke to Arthur as he died, her face full of a twisted joy. She took her hood off and talked to Arthur as he died. Merlin shut down the moment he saw Arthur. He turned to Morgana, tears streaming down his face. He didn't fight her when she used her magic to kill him. The Morgana of the future laughed as Merlin gasped for breath because she cut off his air. For the first time, Morgana was happy she couldn't hear what was happening. She didn't know if she could have handled listening to the choking sounds Merlin would have made.

That was her breaking point. Morgana was gasping for breath in the present. She had long ago moved past hysterical sobbing. Part of her was aware that Merlin's chest was pressed against her back and he had his arms wrapped around her as if he were trying to hold her together. There was no holding her together. Not after what she had seen. Not after what she was going to do. She didn't want to see anymore, but she couldn't look away. She needed to know everything.

When he finally died, a look of peace spreading over his face, she walked away without another word. The smile on her face was malicious and victorious.

Morgana didn't know what she had won, but she never wanted it. She threw the crystal, not caring where it landed. She heard an inhumane sound and it took her a long time to realize that she was making that sound. She had told Merlin she wanted to know what was coming, but she would much rather have lived, completely oblivious to the person she would become.

After several more minutes had passed, she became aware of someone calling her name. "Morgana," Merlin said over and over and over again. "Morgana, it's okay. You're okay."

Morgana didn't have the strength to speak yet. Instead she cried. And she cried. And she cried. No matter what she tried, she couldn't stop. She felt as if part of herself had died. The part of her that held all things good and right was gone.

Morgana didn't know how much time passed before something broke through the haze she was in. "Morgana, that doesn't need to be you," Merlin told her. "That doesn't need to be you. I don't believe that will be you. You can fight it. You can be good and loving and kind-hearted. You can be you."

Morgana looked at him. It had to have been hours since she first started crying. Her head was throbbing the way it only does when you have a good cry. "I'm sorry," Morgana whispered. "I'm so, so sorry."

"It's okay," Merlin told her. Morgana was aware of his warm lips against her forehead. "It's okay."

"No it's not," Morgana said. "I killed you!" The sobs returned as Morgana remembered watching herself kill Merlin. It was like she ripped out part of her own heart and didn't even care. "I helped Mordred kill Arthur. So many men died because of me! Evil doesn't even begin to describe what I was."

"That's not you," Merlin told her. He grabbed her face, holding it in front of him. "This is you. The Morgana that is kind and loyal and compassionate. The Morgana that would rather die than see her friends die. The Morgana that would rather suffer than see others suffer. That Morgana is you, not the Morgana of the future. What you saw will only come to pass if you let it."

"How can that not be me?" Morgana asked. Merlin looked at her. It hurt him so much to see her in so much pain.

"You have to not let it be you," Merlin whispered. "You have to be stronger than your destiny. I can't tell you how to do that. It's your decision and your decision alone."

Morgana closed her eyes. She would be giving up her only real family. Was it worth it? Morgana opened her eyes to see Merlin crouching before her, lending her his own strength. She looked at Gaius. He had been kind to her ever since she was a child. She thought about Gwen who was her best friend in Camelot.

Merlin was right. They are her family. "I'm going to tell Morgause no," Morgana whispered. "I'm going to stay here with you."

Merlin glanced to the side where Morgana had thrown the crystal. He saw the image in the crystal change. It had been full of darkness and that darkness had faded. "Look," he whispered.

Morgana looked to where Merlin had pointed. "I don't want to see anymore," she told him.

"Maybe you do," Merlin said. He stood up and picked up the crystal. A huge smile spread across his face when he looked at it. "Look."

Reluctantly Morgana made her way to her feet and walked towards Merlin. She looked at the crystal and that's all it took for her to begin crying again. She only looked at it for a moment, but that was enough.

"That's it?" She asked. "That's all it took?"

"One decision is enough to change your destiny," Merlin told her. He was staring at the crystal with amazement. He hadn't realized that the future worked like that, but it made so much sense. Every decision they make defined who they were. Morgana just changed her future when she changed her midn.

"I can't believe it," Morgana said. She didn't look back at the crystal. She wanted her new future to be a surprise.

Merlin twisted so he was facing her. "Morgana Le Fey," he whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too," Morgana said, her face shining with tears. For a moment, they forgot about Gaius. They allowed their relief to fill them.

Merlin leaned down and crushed his lips to hers. In that moment, she wasn't the king's ward, he wasn't a warlock, they hadn't just seen the darkest future imaginable, and they weren't standing right in front of Gaius.

In that moment it was just Morgana and Merlin. And they rather liked it that way.

Gaius coughed uncomfortably. It was hardly proper for a man and woman to kiss like that in front of another person. Gaius would never be able to unsee that.

"I'm sorry," Merlin said. "I'm just so happy."

"As am I," Morgana said, resting her head on Merlin's shoulder.

"What did you see?" Gaius asked. "What has put you in such a fine mood?"

"We saw our wedding day," Merlin whispered. His heart was swelling with joy. They didn't know when it would happen. It would be far, far in the future when Uther wasn't king anymore. It would be far in the future when Arthur respected their relationship enough to marry them. It would be far in the future when Merlin and Morgana were ready to wed. For now, it was enough to have that image in their heads.


	12. Home is Where the Heart Resides

Season 2 Episode 3

Story 16: Not Alone

Chapter 12: Home is Where the Heart Resides

Merlin carefully wiped away Morgana's tears. He hated to part with her, but Gwen was probably already wondering where she was. "You must go. I'll see you in a few hours," Merlin promised her.

"No… Will you let me do this on my own?" Morgana asked him. "I need to do this on my own."

"Of course," Merlin told her. He understood that she needed to confront Morgause on her own. And he knew he could trust her. "I'll come see you tomorrow night." He hugged her one last time then watched her as she walked away. She had changed, just as he had when he saw that vision of her. But she was a better person for it. She will never let that future come to pass and Merlin was so, so proud of her.

Merlin turned to Gaius guiltily. He wasn't sure how angry Gaius would be with him. He had lied to him for months. To his surprise, Gaius was smiling at him. "I'm proud of you m'boy," Gaius told him.

Merlin couldn't help the smile that crossed his face. Gaius's pride, more than anything else, had made him certain that he had made the right choice. "I thought you would be furious with me," Merlin said uncertainly.

"I could never be angry after seeing the man you have become," Gaius said sincerely. He cleared his throat. "Now I really must get some work done… Oh and Merlin? You might want to go see Arthur. He did not look happy with you."

Merlin groaned. "What was I doing all day?" Merlin asked.

"Collecting rare herbs," Gaius told him.

Merlin nodded and headed out. He knew Arthur would be a nightmare.

It was about as bad as he expected. Four hours later, Merlin was still running around trying to complete the endless list of chores Arthur had given him to compensate for his morning off.

Merlin kept glancing out the window in the armory as he polished Arthur's boots and armor. He knew Morgana would be preparing to leave right about now. It was making him anxious to think of her speaking with Morgause on her own. He didn't want to wait until tomorrow night to go see her.

Merlin forced himself to calm down and finish his chores. After he finished his chores he went to bed where he slept restlessly.

In the morning, he felt dead. He was so tired he could barely focus. He moved on autopilot as he did his morning chores. If Arthur noticed that anything was odd, he didn't mention it.

Finally when he had finished deliveries for Gaius and was looking at several hours with nothing to do, Merlin couldn't take it anymore. He decided to go see Morgana. It was risky. He had been to see her two days in a row. If the wrong person noticed, he didn't want to think of the rumors that might start.

He got to her room and knocked quickly, eager to see her. Her door opened just enough for him to go in and then it closed behind him. Before he had a change to look around him, something warm wrapped around him.

Merlin reacted instinctively, engulfing Morgana in a hug. He kissed her briefly. "How did it go?" He asked her anxiously.

"Morgause was not happy," Morgana told him. "She told me she couldn't imagine what would make me want to stay in Camelot."

"What did you tell her?" Merlin asked curiously.

"I told her that my heart lies in Camelot and I couldn't leave it behind," Morgana told him.

Merlin smiled. "Thank you," he said to her. "I know that you sacrificed your only chance at a family to stay here…"

"I didn't," Morgana interrupted. "I just didn't realize what was right in front of my nose. I have a family right here."

Merlin grinned out her. He leaned down to capture her lips in one last lingering kiss.

"You should go," Morgana told him. "I do not want you to get caught. It would take far too much effort for me to convince Arthur to break you out of prison."

Merlin chuckled. "I'll be back tonight," he promised.

"I know you will," Morgana said. "I love you."

"I love you too," Merlin told her.

He turned and left. He yearned for the day when they wouldn't have to sneak around to be with each other. He yearned for the day when he could tell the world that he was in love. He yearned for the day when they would be accepted for their love rather than killed for it.

Merlin was so distracted, he didn't notice that he walked past someone until they called out to him.

"This has to stop," Arthur said. Merlin turned around and looked at Arthur confused. "The king would have your head if he found out, and there's no point in denying it."

Merlin heart began to race. Arthur couldn't know. If he knew about his magic, Merlin was beyond dead. "Denying what?" Merlin asked fearfully.

"Your affections for the Lady Morgana," Arthur said.

Merlin let out a relieved chuckle. He could easily appease Arthur's suspicions. He would just continue visiting Morgana at night rather than during the day. It would be simple enough. Thank goodness it was Arthur that had noticed and not one of the serving maids. At least he could count on Arthur not to gossip about his suspicions. "Right," he said, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

"Take a bit of advice from someone who knows about women," Arthur suggested.

The urge to roll his eyes was becoming stronger and stronger. Arthur spent his days pining after Gwen because he didn't believe they could ever be together. What would he know about women?

"If such a person existed, I would," Merlin told him.

"Stick to girls who are more… how can I put it? On your level," Arthur suggested.

"Thanks," Merlin said. If only Arthur knew how similar he and Morgana were. Their magic practically put them on the same level.

"She can't be your friend. Let alone anything else," Arthur reminded him.

"Yeah, I know," Merlin said. He was trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"You can't hide anything from me Merlin," Arthur told him.

Merlin couldn't help his laughter. "I wouldn't dream of it," he said as he walked away. He was far from Arthur when he spoke again. "I wouldn't dream of it."


	13. Epilogue

Season 2 Episode 3

Story 16: Not Alone

Epilogue

Years and years passed. Merlin and Morgana stayed as close as ever. Sure, there were the nights where their tempers were short because they were tired of hiding. There were nights that ended with Merlin storming from her chambers in anger. There were nights that ended with Morgana crying into her pillow. But those nights always ended the next night when Merlin entered her chambers. They would both apologize and move on. For years they played the same game, night after night.

They also coped with the fear. The fear of getting caught. And there was always the fear that Morgause would come back. Morgana didn't know Morgause very well, so she wasn't sure how far she would go to get Morgana to go with her. But as the years passed, that fear faded like a long forgotten memory.

But then Uther died. When Merlin found out, he was hiding behind Morgana's changing screen. A knight had knocked on her door to give her the news. It hadn't been unexpected, not exactly. The king had become gravely ill, but Gaius had been working on him night and day, trying to cure what was plaguing him.

The moment the knight left, Merlin jumped to his feet. "I have to go to Arthur," he said quickly. Morgana nodded. She understood and she expected nothing less from him.

Merlin practically sprinted to the king's chambers. He knew that's where he would find Arthur. Merlin considered knocking, but he knew Arthur too well for that. He knew there was nothing he could do to help Arthur at that moment so Merlin sat down outside of the door. These were Arthur's last moments with his father. He would want to spend them just with him. Sure enough, after a moment, Gaius and the two guards left the king. When Gaius saw Merlin he walked towards him.

"Arthur wishes to be alone?" Merlin asked. Gaius nodded. "I'm going to stay here." Gaius nodded again. It didn't surprise him. Arthur was Merlin's destiny, and he was also his friend. Regardless of whether Arthur wanted his help or not, Merlin was going to be there for him.

Early the next morning when the sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon, Arthur emerged from his father's bedroom. Merlin had been dozing off and he jerked awake when he heard the creak of the door.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked. Arthur squinted as the first rays of sunshine shone through the window. It seemed so bright. "It's a new day."

Merlin nodded as he stood. His legs felt a little wobbly.

"You been here all night?" Arthur asked him surprised.

"I didn't want you to feel that you were alone," Merlin told him.

Arthur smiled. "You're a loyal friend, Merlin," Arthur said softly. Merlin never failed to amaze him with his devotion and loyalty. Arthur knew he could trust him.

"I'm so, so sorry about your father Arthur," Merlin said. "I can't imagine how you are feeling right now."

"No, you can't," Arthur agreed.

"If you need anything, you need only ask," Merlin told him.

Arthur nodded. He was not okay right now. He was far from it. There was a gaping hole in him that had once been filled by his father's love. He couldn't believe his father had died. He was too young to be king, he didn't feel ready.

"Hungry?" Merlin asked him. Arthur shook his head. He had no appetite. "You've got to eat. I'm going to fetch you some breakfast."

For the next few days, Arthur moved on autopilot. The weight of his new responsibility was nearly crushing him. He was exhausted all the time and he couldn't imagine how Merlin was doing it. Merlin left after he fell asleep each night and was there to wake him up each morning.

Three weeks after Arthur was crowned king, he figured out how Merlin was managing it. Arthur woke up fully rested for the first time since his father died. The sun was high in the sky, showing he had slept the morning away. Arthur frowned. He figured Merlin must have overslept. He wouldn't be surprised. He had been working from dawn until dusk, picking up extra tasks just to help Arthur get through his own mountain of work.

Arthur stretched and rolled out of bed. He dressed himself and then went to visit Morgana. They had been planning on dining together for breakfast, but since he had overslept, he was hoping they could reschedule for lunch.

Arthur knocked on Morgana's door, but didn't hear a response. He knocked again, but still nothing.

Arthur tentatively opened the door, freezing where he was when he opened the door. Morgana was fast asleep on her bed. In a chair next to her bed, Merlin was also fast asleep. He was holding her hand and his head rested close to her stomach. But that's not what shocked Arthur so much.

It was the ring on Morgana's finger. There wasn't anything particularly spectacular about it. It was a beautiful ring, but not quite as extravagant as the jewelry Morgana usually wore. It was the type someone with Merlin's pay could afford if he saved up for years, and most importantly it was one that he had never seen Morgana wear.

Arthur knew what this meant, but he scarcely dared to believe it.

Arthur coughed loudly to clear his throat. Morgana woke up first. She smiled when she saw Merlin. Then she looked around, her eyes widening when she noticed Arthur. She sat up, shaking Merlin in the process. Her eyes never left Arthur.

Merlin woke up and looked at her confused. That had been a less than pleasant wake up call. He followed Morgana's gaze and all the color left his face. He was dead. He was beyond dead. Arthur was going to kill him.

"Care to explain what is going on?" Arthur asked.

"I… um… it's not what it looks like… We… I mean I… that is to say," Merlin stammered. He had no idea how to get himself out of this one.

"We are getting married," Morgana said strongly. She never once looked away from Arthur. "I love Merlin, I have for years. Out of respect for your father, we kept it hidden, but I will not do that anymore."

"He's a servant," Arthur said.

"I'm not ashamed of him. Merlin may be a servant, but he is a good man," Morgana said slowly. "His worth is not measured by the job he holds, but by the good things he has done. With or without your blessing, we are getting married."

"Arthur, I know I cannot offer her as much as a man of noble birth could, but I can offer her my love and a lifelong promise to always be there for her. Isn't that more important?" Merlin asked. His eyes found Morgana's and something passed between them that Arthur had never seen before. It was a look of such love and compassion, a look that said if the world were falling apart, they would be okay as long as they had each other.

"I warned you," Arthur said quietly. "I warned you that you could not let your affections for Morgana be known."

"You did," Merlin agreed. "But you were too late."

"That long?" Arthur asked shocked.

Merlin nodded. "Please," he whispered. "If you won't do it for me, do it for Morgana... Or for Gwen. I think she's going to be the most excited to hear that we are finally engaged."

"Gwen knew?" Arthur asked surprised.

"Of course Gwen knew," Morgana said, rolling her eyes. "Merlin accidentally fell asleep in here one night, maybe six years ago. Gwen walked in on us. I've never heard someone squeal so loudly."

"She had already had her suspicions, but what she saw confirmed it," Merlin added. "And anyway. Does my being a servant really matter? Everyone can see that you are in love with Gwen. Now that you are king, are you going to marry her like you promised all those years ago? Or are you going to ignore her because she is a servant?"

Arthur closed his eyes. Merlin's words voiced the argument he had been having with himself since his father died.  
"I don't know what I'm going to do about Gwen," he admitted.

"You're going to marry her," Morgana said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, because really it was.

"Listen to your heart. If I've learned anything, it's that your heart really does know what is best for you," Merlin told Arthur sincerely. He glanced at Morgana affectionately.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "You really can be such a girl sometimes Merlin," Arthur said dryly. "I will grant you my blessing, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it. You shouldn't have kept this from me."

"Would you have told your father?" Merlin asked.

"I would have had to," Arthur told him.

"Then we don't regret our secrecy," Morgana said with a shrug.

Arthur rolled his eyes, grumbling under his breath. He began to leave, still trying to wrap his head around what he saw. "Oh Arthur?" Morgana called. Arthur turned to look at her. "Do not wait much longer to talk to Gwen. She has the patience, but even she will not wait forever."

Arthur nodded. He walked out, leaving Morgana and Merlin. He could barely process what he had just seen. Merlin and Morgana? But the more he thought about it, the more he couldn't believe he had missed it. The clues were always there, he was just too oblivious to acknowledge it.

Arthur knew that he was going to grant them their wish. He would allow them to marry, hell he would even marry them himself if they asked.

For a long time, Arthur just walked. He didn't have a real destination in mind, but it didn't surprise him when he ended up at Gwen's house. She was the person he felt most comfortable with. She was the person he wanted by his side as he ruled this kingdom. He chose Gwen.

Three days later, Merlin and Morgana married. It was exactly what they had seen in the crystal all those years ago. Arthur threw a huge feast for them to celebrate their union. It was at the end of that feast that Arthur finally manned up and asked Gwen to marry him. She said yes.

Merlin was the happiest man alive during that time. It seemed like everything was finally coming together. Arthur was living up to his destiny. He had married Gwen and was in the process of bringing the land into a new age of prosperity. He hadn't legalized magic and Merlin hadn't told him about his abilities, but Merlin believed that maybe one day he would. Arthur's treatment of those who studied magic was not as cruel as his father's, but he still believed that magic was evil. Merlin didn't know how to plant the seed of doubt in Arthur's mind and none of the plans he and Morgana had concocted were realistic enough to attempt.

Everything changed when Morgana had a baby. About two months after they had married, the sickness started. Merlin and Morgana had feared that she had caught the same illness that Uther had, but Gaius quickly appeased them. They were so excited to have a child. But when the baby was born, all hell broke loose.

In retrospect, they should have seen this coming. Naturally the child of two people that had magic would be born with magic. The first time Taki used magic, Merlin and Morgana were terrified. Arthur had been kind enough to allow them to live in the castle after they got married and now they had a baby that could literally tear apart a room when she got hungry. Merlin and Morgana withdrew after that. They only allowed Gaius in to see them. They didn't know what else to do. They couldn't risk that Arthur would kill their precious child because of her magic.

It was inevitable that Arthur would find out. He wanted to meet the baby and they could only delay him so long. He was the king after all.

It was the night before Taki reached her six month anniversary. Arthur had had enough. He had gotten a glimpse of the baby when she was born and hadn't seen her since. Gwen had prevented him from doing anything earlier, but even she had lost her patience. She wanted to meet the child as much as Arthur did.

Arthur banged on the door to the chambers that Merlin and Morgana shared. He was not going to take no for an answer. He ordered the guards to stay outside when he and Gwen entered.

Merlin and Morgana looked up when they heard someone enter. Arthur gasped when he saw them. Both of them looked like they hadn't slept in weeks. No wonder they were refusing visitors. Arthur wouldn't want to be seen looking like that either.

"Arthur," Merlin said anxiously. He tightened his hold on his daughter. The moment Taki had seen Arthur she began to squirm and reach for him. She wanted him to hold her.

Arthur smiled when he saw the baby. She was huge now. So much bigger than she had been when she was born. She was wearing a purple dress that pooled at her bare feet. She kept wiggling trying to free herself from Merlin's grasp.

"Can I hold her?" Arthur asked.

"I don't know if that is such a good idea," Merlin started to say. Taki wasn't having that though. She started hysterically crying. Merlin and Morgana moved immediately. Merlin placed Taki and the carpeted floor and grabbed a pillow. He looked around ready for stuff to start flying around. But as soon as her crying had started, it stopped.

Merlin looked around to see Arthur holding Taki. He held his breath, praying with all his might that they might somehow get through this. That somehow Taki wouldn't use magic until Arthur left.

It was going miraculously well. Taki hadn't made a sound while Arthur was holding her. Merlin and Morgana were grateful for that, because usually her grunting and crying caused her to do magic.

It was too good too last. Just as Arthur and Gwen were preparing to leave and Merlin and Morgana were starting to think they were going to make it, there was a clanging sound. Taki scrunched up her little face.

Two men, clad entirely in black burst into the room. One immediately ran towards Arthur. Arthur had to choose between drawing his sword or protecting the child. Arthur looked at the innocence in the child that he was holding and he turned his back, preparing himself for the agony he was sure would follow.

Taki began screaming and suddenly Arthur heard two loud thumps. He turned around to see the two men on the ground. He could tell they were alive by the rise and fall of their chests.

Gwen was staring at the baby he was holding with a mixture of horror and awe. Arthur felt like he was missing something. "What happened?" He asked.

Morgana began to cry. "Please Arthur. It wasn't her," Morgana sobbed.

"Um?" Arthur asked uncertainly.

"It was the child," Gwen said quietly. She hadn't taken her eyes off of the baby. She wasn't quite sure what to make of her. "She knocked them out."

Arthur nearly dropped Taki, but at the last moment, he tightened his grip. He looked at the baby in his arms. "Are you sure?" He asked uncertainly.

"Arthur, it's not her fault. She couldn't help it," Merlin said. He wasn't crying… yet, but he looked close to tears. "If you must punish someone for her magic, punish me. She can't help that she was born with these powers."

"I don't understand. How is it that she can have these powers? How is this possible?" Arthur asked. He felt like there was something very important that he was missing.

"Because she is like me," Merlin said softly. "I have magic. I was born with it, just as she was. Please, spare her. I willingly place myself at your mercy."

"No," Arthur said, shaking his head. "You do not have magic. I would know."

Merlin closed his eyes. With a flick of his wrist, Merlin summoned the water pitcher that was on the table near their bed. He opened his eyes and looked at Arthur. "Please. Spare my daughter."

Arthur opened and closed his mouth several times before he handed the child to Morgana and walked out. He needed to think.

Similarly to when Arthur had first seen Merlin and Morgana together, he just walked. This time though, he couldn't go to Gwen. He walked the familiar path to the willow tree, his willow tree. The tree wasn't planted far from the castle. It was a tree he had ended up in more times than he could count when he had been a child. When he was younger, he had loved the sense of privacy the tree entitled him to. No one would know where he was unless they stood at the trunk of the tree and looked up.

Arthur stared at the leaves that sprouted around him. They were all different yet they formed together to create a barrier between him and the outside world. They made him feel safe.

For a long time, Arthur just sat there and thought. He had no idea what he was going to do about Merlin. Merlin was his manservant. He had trusted him. For years, he had served Arthur, never seeming to be anything less than the most loyal friend Arthur had. Had Merlin just been biding his time, waiting for the opportune moment to kill Arthur? As much as he loathed the magic that Merlin had, Arthur didn't believe that. He could still remember with clarity the times Merlin had nearly sacrificed his life for Arthur. How could he possess magic? Merlin was his only friend! How could he possess magic?

Arthur screamed from frustration and punched the thick tree trunk. He had probably broken his hand, but he didn't care.

"Did that make you feel better?" A voice asked from the base of the tree.

Arthur looked down, shocked to see Morgana sitting down at the bottom of the tree. She looked comfortable as if she had been there for a long time. "How long have you been here?" Arthur asked her.

Morgana glanced at the sky that was hidden from Arthur. "My guess would be about two hours. I figured you would need some time to brood," she explained.

Arthur frowned. It was dangerous for him to have not noticed Morgana. "How did you find me?" Arthur asked.

"I'm not as oblivious as you would believe," Morgana said, looking at Arthur sharply. "Whenever you fought with your father, this is where you sought sanctuary. I never said anything to him or to you, because I knew you needed this time to be alone. I figured this is where you would be after you fought with Merlin."

Arthur groaned. "If you are here to convince me to spare him…" Arthur began.

"I'm here to do no such thing," Morgana said. "If you sentence him to death, we will just leave. We have it in our powers to do so. I'm here to tell you everything I think you need to know to make this decision."

Morgana began to climb the tree. She had tried it once long ago and hadn't very much cared for the way the branches had scratched her face. She hated it just as much now, but it was necessary.

"Merlin is a good man," Morgana said simply.

"Is this you not trying to convince me? Because you're doing a lousy job," Arthur commented dryly.

"Do you have any intention of sentencing Taki to death?" Morgana asked him.

"No! Of course not," Arthur told her shocked. She couldn't help that she was born with these powers.

"And why not?" Morgana asked.

"She's just an infant. She can't help that she had these powers," Arthur explained. "How can I believe that there is evil in a child's heart?"

"So why would you be considering having Merlin murdered?" Morgana asked.

"That's different," Arthur said annoyed. "Merlin's older. He is responsible for his actions!"

"So when Taki is older, are you going to have her executed?" Morgana pressed.

Arthur looked away from Morgana. He knew she made sense, but he didn't want to listen. "Merlin has lied to me for years," he whispered. That's what it all came down to. That's what hurt Arthur the most. Not the fact that Merlin possessed magical powers, but that he had lied to him.

"He didn't have a choice," Morgana told him. "He didn't know what would happen if he told you the truth. He couldn't risk that you would have him exiled or executed. If that happened, he wouldn't be able to protect you."

"Protect me?" Arthur asked indignantly. "Why would I need his protection?"

"Grow up Arthur," Morgana shouted angrily. "Do you really not see everything he does for you? I can't even begin to tell you how many fights we had because he had to go and risk his neck for you. I've nearly lost him so many times and he believed it all worth it for you!"

"Then why would he just sacrifice himself?" Arthur asked bitterly. "Why would he just turn himself in? If I'm so important to him."

"Because for the first time, Merlin found something that is more important than you," Morgana whispered. "For the first time, Merlin was willing to sacrifice himself for someone else. You have no idea how much having a child changes you. You are Merlin's destiny and he would rather die than see you hurt, but Taki is his daughter. He would move mountains if it meant that she would be okay."

"And you're okay with that? That he loves his daughter more than he loves you?" Arthur asked skeptically.

"I wouldn't expect anything less," Morgana answered honestly. "When I fell in love with Merlin, I never thought I could feel that much love for one person. But then Taki joined our family. You compare a dying candle light to a roaring inferno. I love Merlin, I truly do. But that doesn't compare to how I feel for Taki. She is my daughter. Merlin and I, we created that beautiful little girl. She is entirely reliant on us. How do you not love someone like that with all of your being? It's two very different kinds of love, but there is no doubt which one is stronger."

Arthur frowned. "I don't understand," he admitted. "But perhaps that is because I do not have a child." Arthur closed his eyes. "This doesn't change the fact that Merlin lied to me, but I guess I understand why he did it." He opened his eyes and looked at Morgana. "I'm not going to kill him, but I don't think I can ever trust him again."

Morgana pursed her lips. "Do you remember when you got attacked by the questing beast?" Morgana asked.

"Of course," Arthur said. He could remember the strangest feeling of being in his body and out of his body at the same time. He fought to return to consciousness but there was a solid barrier that he couldn't not break no matter what he tried.

"Let's say that you were actually dying and that nothing could cure the venom of the questing beast. Say that someone went to the Isle of the Blessed and bargained with the High Priestess of the Old Religion. Say that someone was willing to sacrifice their own life for yours. And say that the only reason they survived was because they killed the very witch that had tried to kill you so many times," Morgana told him. "Do you believe that person to be evil? Do you think you could trust them after they were willing to die so you could live?"

"You expect me to believe that Merlin was willing to sacrifice his life to bring me back from the dead?" Arthur asked. "No. Gaius created a potion that was an antidote to the venom."

"Yeah. A potion he mixed with the waters from the Cup of Life. Arthur, Merlin is a good man. If you look in your heart, you'll see that. Think about everything he has done for you," Morgana told him.

She began to descend the tree. When she was at the bottom, she looked up at Arthur. "Oh Arthur?" She asked. Arthur looked down at her. "If you are going to punish Merlin, you are going to have to punish me to."

Morgana shook her hand and caused the leaves around Arthur to blow despite the lack of wind.

With that, Morgana walked away. Arthur stared after her angrily. Did anyone not have magic? Arthur wondered if Gwen was hiding secret powers as well.

Arthur stayed where he was sitting in the tree long after night had fallen and through the night. When he finally emerged, the first signs of morning were gracing the skies. Merlin was leaning against the wall not far from the tree, fast asleep.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked.

Merlin jerked awake and blinked sleepily. He looked around as if he were trying to remember where he was. When he saw Arthur, he climbed to his feet. He swayed slightly. He had only just fallen asleep and was exhausted from everything that had happened. "Sire," he said. "It's a new day."

"Have you been here all night?" Arthur asked him.

"I didn't want you to feel that you were alone," Merlin told him.

For a moment, Arthur stared at Merlin. It was the same thing Merlin had said to him after his father had died. Merlin wasn't here to beg him for forgiveness. He was here, because he cared about Arthur and even if Arthur wouldn't ask for it, he wanted to help him. In that moment, Arthur knew he could trust Merlin, because he knew Merlin would always be there for him. So Arthur smiled. "You're a loyal friend Merlin," he told him. He had never spoken those words with such sincerity as he did in that moment.

Merlin's answering smile was huge and lit up his whole face. "Thank you sire," he answered.

I really hope you enjoyed reading this! Feedback is always welcome.


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